CrazyFrog
04-12-2008, 01:44 AM
Kiltro (2006)
Cast: Marko Zaror/Zami, Caterina Jadesic/Kim, Miguel Angel de Luca/Max Kalba, Alejandro Castillo/Soto, Man Soo Yoon/Teran
Director/Writer: Ernesto Diaz Espinosa
Kiltro is billed as the first South American martial arts movie, which is probably true. And for a first, it's definitely watchable, although many things detract from the movie. But mostly, its a vehicle for rising star Marko Zaror, and this guy makes the movie.
The plot begins with some picturesque shots of Chile, stark desert, then waves crashing on a rocky shore. And then, there's a dwarf and a man sitting in a cave, looking somewhat like shamans, with a crackling fire. Ok, with me? Then cut to a dance club somewhere, where a unhappy looking Zami (Zaror) is staring across the dance floor at some jailbait girl dancing w/ a big thug. Thug touches her assets, Zami gets mad and springs into action, furious. He swears revenge (!) on "Maniac" (the thug's name). Cut to: next day, Zami and his gang walk up to some ghetto building and call out "Maniac" for his ass-whupping. Both guys are huge and at first Zami gets pummelled by Maniac, but then- a seriously fast-as-shit backspin kick to the head drops Maniac down like a bag of rocks. And that's the intro you get to the main protagonist played by Zaror- a big, obsessed oaf who just happens to move like Tony Jaa.
So I'm not going to rehash the whole plot like I just did. To boil it down, it revolves around Zami's obsession with a girl, Kim, who's the daughter of a local Korean martial arts instructor. Zami trails Kim around and acts like a big doofus until one day a mysterious man shows up at the dojo and just starts killing people. The Korean guy, Teran, shows some acknowledgement of just who this guy is but it's too late!! Leaving just about everyone dead, the mystery man turns out to have a name- Zalba! Zalba takes Teran, who is barely alive, and somehow the dwarf shows up and whisks away a easily beaten Zami and Kim before anything happens to them.
In the cave, secrets are (somewhat) revealed and Teran is part of a secret sect that does... something, what it is is never explained but probably fighting for justice and stuff, you know. This sect, which does not have a name, is somehow linked to Zami, who wears a distinctive medallion around his neck that signifies-yes- that he's a member. But Zami, who has never known his dad, is still dumbfounded at it all, and after the dwarf tells him to go north and train with Soto, you know what the hell is going to happen anyways. Zami goes north, finds Soto, trains in the Zeta way (not making that up) and finds his way back to ZALBA!! who now has kidnapped Kim. Will Zami save the day? Is the Internets totes kewl?? And does Zami get the girl?? STAY TUNED!!!
No, seriously, this movie ordered all the kung fu cliches from Costco and then made a few new ones up along the way. While predictable from the get-go, Kiltro does have some pretty fun moments. Action wise, Mr. Zaror should be the Next Big Thing. He's big but extremely agile; he's only a hair less nimble than the JaaMan and that speed and power make him look very formidable as an opponent. Add to that a natural charisma with model boy looks, and you have a future star, just add Hollywood. Dude's gonna be off the charts. Other highlights include a suitably evil bad guy, courtesy of a Miguel Angel deLuca (Zalba). This guy is like the villain from the silent films who ties women down to railroad tracks and twirls his mustache and then you spliced him with Darth Vader- NO, REALLY. The guy isn't nearly the screen fighter that Marko is but it looks like he could burn holes through babies with his stare. He's a badass! The love interest was slightly interesting, if only for the twist in which Zami is played as an obsessive lunk who seems to have borderline autism while the girl just toys with him. And this girl- very cute, if you're into 16-year olds who do cosplay (she has some serious Sailor Moon pigtails here). Other things I liked were the soundtrack (it was actually pretty damn good and funky in spots!) and when they utilized it, the quite stunning Chilean scenery. It really adds a vibe to this movie that you just don't see in any other martial arts movies.
So, did I like it? Yeah, if only to see who the next movie martial arts badass is going to be. He has got legit skills, amazing speed and strength, and a palpable charisma that is going to take him far. Otherwise, the movie was ok- quirky and with a fresh, Chilean view on the classic revenge tale but saddled with the same BS and cliches that plagues just about every other martial arts production. Guess that's universal, no matter what. It has lots of potential, and realizes some of it but also squanders a pretty good talent pool. Welcome to martial arts cinema, Mr. Espinoza and Mr. Zaror. Let's hope Mirageman capitalizes on the goods you've promised.
2.5 out of 5 empanadas
http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/7791/kiltro0333rf.jpg
Interesting tidbits:
Zami has a pink-highlighted mullet in the beginning.
Zami goes for the big kiss by the sea with Kim (with music!) but she whacks him upside the head instead.
ZALBA's Vader-like powers manifest in the dojo scene, where he picks up a full-grown man with one hand and strangles him instantly.
http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2577/kiltro020zt.jpg
See?!! EVIL!!
The dwarf has wisdom beyond his years that is demonstrated when Zami asks why he won't fight Zalba himself: " I'm old and I'm a dwarf. Do you think I have a chance against Zalba?". No, I guess not!
Soto clears Zami's mind not with meditation but with what looks like peyote. Now that's what I'm talking about!! Psychedelic kung fu!
After "clearing his head", Zami wakes up in his birthday suit in the middle of the desert. When he does, Soto does a backflip off a sand dune right in front of him. HIIIYAAH!
Zalba's henchmen are prone to wearing Members Only jackets and very stylish tribal/emo makeup.
The CGI bloodletting gets on my nerves after a while. It really does.
WTF is a Zeta and why does it bug me so much?
Cast: Marko Zaror/Zami, Caterina Jadesic/Kim, Miguel Angel de Luca/Max Kalba, Alejandro Castillo/Soto, Man Soo Yoon/Teran
Director/Writer: Ernesto Diaz Espinosa
Kiltro is billed as the first South American martial arts movie, which is probably true. And for a first, it's definitely watchable, although many things detract from the movie. But mostly, its a vehicle for rising star Marko Zaror, and this guy makes the movie.
The plot begins with some picturesque shots of Chile, stark desert, then waves crashing on a rocky shore. And then, there's a dwarf and a man sitting in a cave, looking somewhat like shamans, with a crackling fire. Ok, with me? Then cut to a dance club somewhere, where a unhappy looking Zami (Zaror) is staring across the dance floor at some jailbait girl dancing w/ a big thug. Thug touches her assets, Zami gets mad and springs into action, furious. He swears revenge (!) on "Maniac" (the thug's name). Cut to: next day, Zami and his gang walk up to some ghetto building and call out "Maniac" for his ass-whupping. Both guys are huge and at first Zami gets pummelled by Maniac, but then- a seriously fast-as-shit backspin kick to the head drops Maniac down like a bag of rocks. And that's the intro you get to the main protagonist played by Zaror- a big, obsessed oaf who just happens to move like Tony Jaa.
So I'm not going to rehash the whole plot like I just did. To boil it down, it revolves around Zami's obsession with a girl, Kim, who's the daughter of a local Korean martial arts instructor. Zami trails Kim around and acts like a big doofus until one day a mysterious man shows up at the dojo and just starts killing people. The Korean guy, Teran, shows some acknowledgement of just who this guy is but it's too late!! Leaving just about everyone dead, the mystery man turns out to have a name- Zalba! Zalba takes Teran, who is barely alive, and somehow the dwarf shows up and whisks away a easily beaten Zami and Kim before anything happens to them.
In the cave, secrets are (somewhat) revealed and Teran is part of a secret sect that does... something, what it is is never explained but probably fighting for justice and stuff, you know. This sect, which does not have a name, is somehow linked to Zami, who wears a distinctive medallion around his neck that signifies-yes- that he's a member. But Zami, who has never known his dad, is still dumbfounded at it all, and after the dwarf tells him to go north and train with Soto, you know what the hell is going to happen anyways. Zami goes north, finds Soto, trains in the Zeta way (not making that up) and finds his way back to ZALBA!! who now has kidnapped Kim. Will Zami save the day? Is the Internets totes kewl?? And does Zami get the girl?? STAY TUNED!!!
No, seriously, this movie ordered all the kung fu cliches from Costco and then made a few new ones up along the way. While predictable from the get-go, Kiltro does have some pretty fun moments. Action wise, Mr. Zaror should be the Next Big Thing. He's big but extremely agile; he's only a hair less nimble than the JaaMan and that speed and power make him look very formidable as an opponent. Add to that a natural charisma with model boy looks, and you have a future star, just add Hollywood. Dude's gonna be off the charts. Other highlights include a suitably evil bad guy, courtesy of a Miguel Angel deLuca (Zalba). This guy is like the villain from the silent films who ties women down to railroad tracks and twirls his mustache and then you spliced him with Darth Vader- NO, REALLY. The guy isn't nearly the screen fighter that Marko is but it looks like he could burn holes through babies with his stare. He's a badass! The love interest was slightly interesting, if only for the twist in which Zami is played as an obsessive lunk who seems to have borderline autism while the girl just toys with him. And this girl- very cute, if you're into 16-year olds who do cosplay (she has some serious Sailor Moon pigtails here). Other things I liked were the soundtrack (it was actually pretty damn good and funky in spots!) and when they utilized it, the quite stunning Chilean scenery. It really adds a vibe to this movie that you just don't see in any other martial arts movies.
So, did I like it? Yeah, if only to see who the next movie martial arts badass is going to be. He has got legit skills, amazing speed and strength, and a palpable charisma that is going to take him far. Otherwise, the movie was ok- quirky and with a fresh, Chilean view on the classic revenge tale but saddled with the same BS and cliches that plagues just about every other martial arts production. Guess that's universal, no matter what. It has lots of potential, and realizes some of it but also squanders a pretty good talent pool. Welcome to martial arts cinema, Mr. Espinoza and Mr. Zaror. Let's hope Mirageman capitalizes on the goods you've promised.
2.5 out of 5 empanadas
http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/7791/kiltro0333rf.jpg
Interesting tidbits:
Zami has a pink-highlighted mullet in the beginning.
Zami goes for the big kiss by the sea with Kim (with music!) but she whacks him upside the head instead.
ZALBA's Vader-like powers manifest in the dojo scene, where he picks up a full-grown man with one hand and strangles him instantly.
http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2577/kiltro020zt.jpg
See?!! EVIL!!
The dwarf has wisdom beyond his years that is demonstrated when Zami asks why he won't fight Zalba himself: " I'm old and I'm a dwarf. Do you think I have a chance against Zalba?". No, I guess not!
Soto clears Zami's mind not with meditation but with what looks like peyote. Now that's what I'm talking about!! Psychedelic kung fu!
After "clearing his head", Zami wakes up in his birthday suit in the middle of the desert. When he does, Soto does a backflip off a sand dune right in front of him. HIIIYAAH!
Zalba's henchmen are prone to wearing Members Only jackets and very stylish tribal/emo makeup.
The CGI bloodletting gets on my nerves after a while. It really does.
WTF is a Zeta and why does it bug me so much?