Gymkata (1985)

GYMKATA is one of those bad ’80s B-movies that has over the years developed something of a minor cult following. The question is why? I know the guilty pleasures of relishing in movies so bad they’re good, but this is not one of them. If anyone disagrees than I politely suggest broadening your horizons when it comes to truly mesmerizing trash cinema like SSSSSSS (1973) starring Dirk Benedict as the victim of a scientist’s lab experiments to turn humans into snakes or Robert Tai’s NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL (1986) where ninjas surf on giant rubber water spiders.

To be fair, GYMKATA is highly digestible in a Saturday morning cartoons kind of way. In particular, the movie reminds me of the old MR. T cartoon series that ran on NBC back in 1983. In the show Mr. T was the coach of a U.S. gymnastics team. The gymnasts would end up using their skills to take on bad guys. Somewhat like the cartoon, GYMKATA suggests that gymnastics moves could be easily adapted to fighting, so long as there is a stone pommel horse, alleyway high bar or vaulting pole handy.

The film is the product of director Robert Clouse and producer Fred Weintraub who collectively were in part responsible for many of the American martial arts-related titles released up through 1985 including ENTER THE DRAGON, BLACK BELT JONES, THE BIG BRAWL starring Jackie Chan, and FORCE: FIVE. That last one featured Aussie martial arts star Richard Norton in only his second feature film, which is likely the reason why he was chosen to play the villain and fight choreographer for GYMKATA.

Although based on a 1957 novel by Dan Tyler Moore called “The Terrible Game,” GYMKATA is something of a rehash of ENTER THE DRAGON in its plotting. Former World Championship gymnastics gold medallist Kurt Thomas has his only starring role as Jonathan Cabot, ace gymnast recruited by the U.S. government to finish a mission his missing father started. He’s put through a rigorous training regime to prepare him for “The Game,” a 900-year-old survival contest hosted by the fictional Eastern European country of Parmistan. America’s interest is strategic, to gain permission to set up a Star Wars defense system in the small, backwards country as part of their Cold War-era Strategic Defense Initiative.

Running the contest is Zamir (Norton), an ambitious warlord who has built up a loyal army of masked fighters he plans to use to overthrow the ruling Kahn (Buck Kartalian) when the time is right. He also intends to marry the Kahn’s daughter Princess Rubali (Tetchie Agbayani) against her will, but not if Jonathan can help it.

After having a run-in with gun-happy Turkish spies on his way to Parmistan, Jonathan arrives in time to meet his fellow game contestants representing nations competing with the U.S. Noticing that Jonathan and Rubali are clearly enamored with each other, Zamir vows to personally kill the gymnast in the game. Once it begins, Jonathan not only must keep from being hunted by Zamir and his hooded goons, but he is also forced to contend with a vicious fellow contestant named Thorg (Bob Schott) and survive a trip through a town full of murderous lunatics.

The idea of a gymnast turning his sporting skills into martial arts seems ludicrous, but it’s actually not a bad idea in relation to screen fighting. Gymnastics is about as close as America has ever gotten to replicating the kind of grueling physical training found in Hong Kong’s old Chinese opera schools. Jackie Chan owes much of his success to the conditioning he received from his opera school master. The difference though is that gymnastics is focused very narrowly on mastering specific competitive routines while Chinese opera trains students in a wide range of performing arts including singing and martial arts forms. In the past this has made it relatively easy for Chinese opera students to successfully step into screen fighting roles.

With a dedicated gymnast like Thomas it’s not so easy. His acting skills are weak, but that’s not the real problem. What’s worse is that Norton and Clouse build the action scenes around his gymnastics skills, instead of doing the reverse. So we end up with some truly laughable situations. While on the run from baddies in Turkey Thomas ducks into an alley and in the next shot suddenly has his hands chalked in preparation for swinging around a conveniently placed high bar to kick any bad guys stupid enough to run up to him while he’s twirling around. It gets better, or worse, depending on how you view it. Later, Thomas finds himself surrounded by a mob of lunatic townsfolk. A stone structure nearby with twin handholds conveniently doubles as a pommel horse and Thomas begins doing his routines with a few extra kicks added in as the crowd attempts to close in.

As goofy as this gymnastic fighting is, I wouldn’t have minded it had it been more creatively woven into the movie and expanded. Yet Clouse’s limitations as a filmmaker are glaring. Seeing as how he directed Jackie Chan in BATTLE CREEK BRAWL it’s fair to compare his direction to Jackie’s work. Where Jackie would have made the most of even seemingly mundane situations in a movie by adding some physical comedy or random stunt, Clouse sleepwalks through numerous travel and chase scenes, which are just filler, but take up a good chunk of the running time. Even worse, he actually recycles a couple inserts with Thomas performing a reaction.

Richard Norton is the one action star worth looking at in the movie, but this is hardly one of his better roles. He does display some cool sai wielding, but he spends more time riding on horseback and showing off his pectorals than actually fighting. This was just the start of his career though and he would go on to do better work with Cynthia Rothrock in the CHINA O’BRIEN series and in Hong Kong, particularly in his fight with Jackie Chan in MR. NICE GUY (1997).

Other screen fighters in attendance include Tang Soo Do black belt and future AMERICAN KICKBOXER star John Barrett and Conan Lee. Lee had a magnificent premiere after being discovered by Ng See-yuen and picked to star in NINJA IN THE DRAGON’S DEN, but his American-bred ego exploded and effectively destroyed his action star status. Suffice to say he doesn’t get a single line in GYMKATA. Barrett fairs slightly better, but also suffers in a throwaway role.

Shooting in former Yugoslavia has its advantages. The old world locations look appropriate for the story and are nicely shot. The action is poorly framed compared with what Hong Kong filmmakers were doing at the time with smaller budgets. The last production element worth mentioning is the fine orchestral score by Yugoslav native Alfi Kabiljo. It’s very cinematic and is better than the movie deserves.

Even though GYMKATA is a mediocre action movie in execution that lacks compelling screen fighting, it is the only one I know of that tries to turn a pro gymnast into a martial arts star. That’s worth something, especially when it’s done so unconvincingly. The movie is definitely good for a few laughs and has the added bonus of a few gruesome gore scenes. It’s too bad there isn’t more of this type of extreme material. With the whole lunatic village scenario the filmmakers could have turned this into the first horror-gymnastic-martial arts movie. Now that could have been a real cult classic.