Holy Weapon (1993)

Sporadic conflict between Japanese invaders and Chinese during the Ming Dynasty plays out in the martial world as China’s hero Mo Kake (Damian Lau) meets the challenge of Japan’s evil ‘Super Sword’ (Simon Yam), with the aid of seven virgin maidens.

Director Wong Jing cuts loose with one of Hong Kong’s most outrageous and troubled comedy/swordplay films of the ’90s. Holy Weapon features some unbelievable wire-fu action from one of the genre’s masters, choreographer Ching Siu-tung (Hero) and also stars top talents like Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung, and Damian Lau. It also features some of the most idiotic situational comedy and dialogue, so much so that the action scenes are not even worth waiting for.

Recounting this film’s plot is a wasted exercise as 90% of it is complete nonsense. But here’s a short version. Chinese swordsman Mo Kake (Damian Lau) defeats Japan’s Super Sword (Simon Yam), but a rematch is scheduled for three years later. As a result of taking dangerous medicine to aid him in battle, Mo Kake goes on a killing spree and ends up a vegetable. His girl, Mon Ching-sze (Michelle Yeoh) is infuriated, decides to dress as a man and go around killing other abusive men until she hooks up with six other women, one wannabe hero (Dicky Cheung), and Ghost Doctor (Ng Man-tat), the fellow who concocted the medicine. Two of the women including Sharla Cheung are former servants of Super Sword who join the other women in developing a special “Yuen Tin Sword Position” designed to defeat Super Sword. After way too much stupidity from everyone concerning love potions, mixed-gender romance and identities, and juvenile slapstick that deserves and gets no laughter, the seven maidens have a duel with Super Sword that goes well beyond the far-reaching boundaries of typical wire-fu extravagance.

I’ll admit that Wong Jing has a filmmaker’s mind that knows no bounds. The opening and closing battles are both a sight to behold, even by Hong Kong standards. Expect to see flying birdmen collide with explosive results, bodies blown to shreds, Simon Yam turn into a giant flying sword, people roasted on a huge Ferris wheel, and the six maidens connect to form a giant fighting body – just like Voltron! Had Wong been able to bridge these two scenes with equally over-the-top action and comedy that was actually funny, Holy Weapon could have been a camp classic. But not surprisingly, he blows it big time. A great cast is completely wasted on a crap script so bad it will make you cringe. There is also a cruel streak of black humor laced throughout the film that isn’t funny on any level, but is unsavory. Michelle Yeoh and Maggie Cheung are better than this, I had to keep reminding myself. I can only imagine that their hectic schedule in 1993 blurred their judgment or possibly Wong’s clout in the industry and with triads had something to do with getting them all together for such a lame project.

Holy Weapon is a great example of what happens when you take sterling folks like Ching Siu-tung, Michelle Yeoh, and the rest who are capable of greatness and just grind them into the filth of an unredeemable piece of cinematic dung. For the wire-fu fan with masochistic tendencies and a taste for bad Hong Kong humor, this one will be right up your alley, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.