Magic Crystal (1986)

Traveling from Greece to Hong Kong, the KGB and Interpol agents are both on the hunt for a jade stone with magical properties that ends up in the hands of a small boy in the care of his bumbling father (Wong Jing), his kung fu-fighting mother, and his uncle (Andy Lau) who is a special agent.

Not to be confused with Jim Henson’s ‘muppetized’ fantasy The Dark Crystal, Wong Jing’s Magic Crystal is an odd mix of globetrotting adventure, science fiction, screwball comedy, and martial arts. It’s the latter element that saves the film from mediocrity.

Although well versed in Hong Kong cinema, Wong Jing is also an unapologetic pilferer of Hollywood films and this time he seems most inspired by Steven Spielberg’s E.T. (1982). Wong’s extra-terrestrial is a green rock (a real money saver) that befriends a nerdy little boy (Siu Ban-ban) after its dumped into his suitcase in Greece by an archeologist (Phillip Ko Fei) on the run from the KGB. Trouble brews for the boy and his family when KGB thugs led by Karov (Richard Norton) trace the rock back to their home in Hong Kong. The boy’s secret agent uncle (Andy Lau) winds up framed for murder and despite the intervention of two Interpol agents (Cynthia Rothrock and Max Mok), his kung fu-fighting mother, and the rock’s alien powers of persuasion, the boy is kidnapped. Eventually, the boy is freed and returns the rock to its hidden space ship in Greece with the KGB thugs, Interpol agents, and his family in tow. A confrontation ensues in a booby-trapped lair (ala Raiders of the Lost Ark) under the ruins of the Acropolis.

Wong’s typical preference for cheap gags is readily evident. The rock’s ability to swap body parts, give people super strength, or mess with their perceptions accounts for most of this. Then there is Wong Jing who casts himself as one of the film’s idiots along with Nat Chan who constantly lusts after Sharla Cheung, playing the daughter of the archeologist. For every action scene there is at least one dimwitted joke that falls flat, much like Wong and Nat’s characters do from two floors up.

Thankfully, Wong does know talent when it comes to martial arts action. And no, I don’t mean Andy Lau or Max Mok who both fill out generic action hero roles with token kung fu moves and lots of doubling. I’ll give Andy a small break and say that he does offer a decent fight while wielding an umbrella and aping Charlie Chaplin. But he’s trying to do Jackie Chan and there’s no comparison. (But he may end up with the last laugh for his acting career has only improved, particularly with 2002’s Infernal Affairs.) Actually, it’s out-of-towners Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton who both steal the show. Their acting is forgettable, but their screen fighting isn’t. Both actors had already had small roles in a couple of Sammo Hung films, most notably Millionaire’s Express (1986). But this was the film that turned them both into genuine martial arts stars with the Hong Kong stamp of approval, a rare honor for gweilo actors. Cynthia gets to show off her championship kung fu forms and weapons handling while Richard delivers fast moves and a positively wicked display of sai weapons mastery. Action director Tony Leung Siu-hung gets the best out all of the actors involved. Most of the fights are above average for an ’80s modern actioner from Hong Kong, which is a shame considering Wong Jing’s otherwise crappy retread of a movie. Wong Wan-si also deserves mention for her impressive wushu-style performance and her elevated leg splits in a doorway. She and Cynthia team up against Richard midway through for a living room tussle that is incredible. The girls nearly put him down for good on that one until the kid is threatened.

It comes down to this: Magic Crystal is a cheap rip-off of Spielberg movies with awful creature effects and boring situational comedy. But the real Grecian locales are spiffy and excellent martial arts action and performances from Rothrock and Norton make the film worth seeking out.