By | Published October 20, 2009

THE SPY NEXT DOOR (2010)

Watch Jackie Chan further erode his once great image as an action icon and continue his slide into forgettable mediocrity in this trailer for his latest Hollywood “action” comedy THE SPY NEXT DOOR, from director Brian Levant, the man who specializes in helping former badasses transform into family-friendly jackasses. He applied similar treatment to Arnold Schwarzenegger in JINGLE ALL THE WAY and to Ice Cube in ARE WE THERE YET?

The film looks like THE TUXEDO meets THE PACIFIER with Chan looking and acting the worst I have ever seen from him. This honestly looks like a disaster. I know Chan has been struggling to repackage himself now that he’s too old to do his patented action but this isn’t the way to do it. This film makes ROB-B-HOOD look like DRUNKEN MASTER by comparison. I really really wish Chan would stay in China and stop letting Hollywood make a bigger fool of him than he occasionally does on his own when speaking in public about Chinese politics. Rob Minkoff is the only director over here to have done Chan any favor to his legacy.

After watching that trailer, I feel like popping THE YOUNG MASTER or MIRACLES into the DVD player just to cleanse my eyes and remind me that there was a time when Chan wasn’t just great at action but also great at comedy.

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  • Name

    What the hell? Jackie chan doing a scene with….Billy Ray Cyrus? You are so right, Jackie is just pissing away all those years of hard working action icon movie making for this crap? Then portraying the Mr. Miyagi character to Will Smith's spoiled brat son in that awful Karate kid remake? This is the greatest stuntman to ever live, he's the drunken master for crying out loud. So sad.

  • rebel_scum

    It's called 'old age', people. Deal with it.

  • Rhythm-X

    “Rob Minkoff is the only director over here to have done Chan any favor to his legacy.”

    The grotesquely underrated AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS, the closest thing to a Hong Kong movie Jackie Chan ever made in Hollywood, was directed by Frank Coraci.

  • http://www.kungfucinema.com Mark Pollard

    Good point. I agree that AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS is underrated. It is exactly the kind of Lunar New Year family movie that Chan used to headline in Hong Kong. I'd be willing to add Coraci to the shortlist although I think it may take years for his film to shake its tarnished image as a box office flop.

  • http://www.facebook.com/justin.quizon Justin Quizon

    The opening shots of the trailer uses footage from “The Tuxedo”. It's like adding dirty salt to a bleeding wound.

  • http://twitter.com/nectarsis Byron Brauner

    Yet another person commenting on the Karate kid remake even though it's nowhere near out. I agree Jackie has def been putting out mostly drek for awhile now, but as said, he's getting older. I to wish he would make some “true” Jackie movies HK style again, but he seems to be making the $ with these “family” flicks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Zelter/1352966720 Daniel Zelter

    Unfortunately, I have to agree with the trailer being underwhelming, but I do think the Rush Hours up to part 3 and the Shanghai series up to part 2 were entertaining. And Around the World in 80 Days was severely underrated, mostly because of its crappy trailer. Plus, Kung Fu Panda was more charming than the usual DW production. I'm not entirely sure how Highbinders, aka The Medallion, would have turned out, if not for studio interference. But Park Chan-wook still owes Gordon Chan credit for that squid scene in Oldboy. On a related and appropriate note, Burn, Hollywood, Burn is now legally available online for free. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118577/ Anyway, when you have to pull off tough stunts for a living, it's probably nice to have to do easy work like this once in a while. I just wonder if he'll be doing the Forbidden Kingdom sequel, or whether they'll go for younger actors in that one.

    Rhythm:

    Justin: I won an autograph off Jackie's site, and it ended up being for a poster of that movie, which thus obligated me to rent it. ;-; (His key-chain “cozy” was nifty, though.) Anyway, Tuxedo's actually kind of cute in some places, but has really lazy writing in general. Though I'm more surprised Jennifer Love Hewitt was able to make a come-back in spite of it, since she didn't really do anything in it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Zelter/1352966720 Daniel Zelter

    Sorry, I was going to add to Rhythm that I just hope that thing eventually made money on home video, at least.

  • zetaGundam

    Sorry Jacky Chan to me died after Police Story…

  • RogerRoger

    Yeah, well, it may be awful, but in the end… what are YOU people thinking? Old times are never coming back – get that! – , and the audience for those movies he did in the last 10 years is a completely different one. And in the end: we have enough extraordinary movies to watch, so if you are pissed at your poor existence, go and get some Project A treatment! ;)) So relax and don't be pissed about the unavoidable. And yes, my kids will most likely love this shit!

  • BAO

    Real JC fan will never whin…I AM A DIE HARD FAN of JACKIE CHAN n THAT's Y I OWNED EVERY1 of HIS FILMS

  • stdthagreat

    My friends it's time to accept that Mr. Chan is way out of his prime. There will never be another true “Jackie Chan Hong Kong movie”. I'm going to take my lil 9 year old sis to see this.

    She loves watching Jackie and his antics. From Rush Hour to even Police Story. I can't blame the man for wanting to get a check. I don't care how many bullshit movies he does, nothing can take away what he has done/meant in movie cinema history. End rant.

  • Name

    OH jeez….this is a true humiliating to watch Jackie Chan's slowly plunging to the death of his career…sigh*

  • darrinkemp

    My sugestion to the fans who like me largely hate Jackie's US output,Ignore it.If enough of us don't go see shit like this Hollywood won't get the message but likely Jackie will.

  • LittlebrotherChing

    Putting the film aside, I blame the company that produced this trailer! Did an intern put it together? They used Tuxedo clips in the mix…did they not have enough footage from the actual new movie?? I cringed from the moment it started…please Jackie, just make ONE kick ass martial arts extravaganza with no CGI and call it a career…your next career will be as a great director.

  • pokez

    the trailer looks 90-ish

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Zelter/1352966720 Daniel Zelter

    I also gotta add that Jet Li's Hollywood movies are a lot worse than Jackie's overall. I can only think of two that I like in which he's the star, and those are Forbidden Kingdom and Danny the Dog/Unleashed. Everything else treads into Steven Seagal territory.

  • sowutifmahsnsux

    and yet, there must be an audience for these movies, b/c as Mark has mentioned, arnold cube and diesel have all received the same treatment. a quick check on box office mojo reveals that those films earned between $60-$100+ million

  • Pingback: Jackie Chan heads all-star ‘Shaolin’ epic « Kung Fu Cinema

  • Ilovemartialartsmovie

    I sincerely hope this stoopid movie can get into box office… Until then, Im just gonna wait for his Shaolin Temple next year..

  • hung_kuen

    It looks like the tuxedo meets spy kids, why is Jackie doing this to himself.

  • hung_kuen

    It looks like the tuxedo meets spy kids, why is Jackie doing this to himself.