Seven years after the release of THE MUMMY RETURNS, Brendan Fraser returns to the role of adventure-seeking archeologist Rick O’Connell, unfortunately sans Rachel Weisz, in the effects-heavy franchise that updates the 1932 Boris Karloff horror classic THE MUMMY. In theory, the film gets a boost from the presence of Asian acting heavyweights Anthony Wong, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh, the latter two appearing together onscreen for the first time since THE TAI CHI MASTER in 1993. Beyond this ultimately disappointing lure, THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR is an over-indulgent mess of mediocre computer effects, excessively confusing action editing, misfired comedy, and colorless characters completely lacking in anything but the most trite personalities vainly attempting to channel non-existent screen chemistry.

From the start, director Stephen Sommers had engineered the MUMMY franchise to be a big, brainless summer event that largely relied on over-the-top digital effects, light humor and conventional adventure themes culled from the same serialized Republic Pictures-era material that gave inspiration to the INDIANA JONES films. With previous director Stephen Sommers taking the producing role and handing direction to XXX helmer Rob Cohen, TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR manages to hold on to the high energy and overall formula of the two previous films yet his approach is less coherent and we end up with something truly geared for only a grade school mentality and not even ample fighting action, explosions and stunt work can rescue it.

Although the villain has changed, the plot is still a rehash of past entries. In one of his least engaging roles to date, Jet Li portrays a near-mindless world conqueror who is tricked by a magic user played by Michelle Yeoh. After Li kills her lover (Russell Wong), Yeoh puts a curse on Li and his army that turns them into stone. Really, have we not had enough Terracotta references yet? You would think the producers might have learned something from Jackie Chan’s stinker THE MYTH but chances are their knowledge and understanding of Asian action cinema is limited, otherwise they wouldn’t have even bothered to film the embarrassment their efforts produced.

Yeoh narrates an entirely forgettable back story at the beginning that is actually helpful as it provides the perfect opportunity to step away from the screen to grab a bucket of popcorn or use the crapper. Really, you won’t miss a thing, except seeing ROMEO MUST DIE star Russell Wong in period garb. I really don’t like beating down Chinese-American actors but Wong has been like the harbinger of doom for everything he has touched. It’s like having Billy Zane or Lorenzo Lamas in your cast list except less unintentionally amusing. Thankfully, his Mandarin dialogue is minimal.

Forward to the present and we’re burdened with the painfully bad chemistry of Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello. Fraser got on with Weisz well enough in the previous films but here with Bello it’s horribly forced. Their dialogue, mixed with the awful antics of John Hannah, is mostly played for laughs, laughs that never come. There was one person in the half-filled theater on opening day who could be heard lightly chuckling at two or three bad gags. Other than that, the audience remained silent.

The entire cast was horrid and their interactions worse. Luke Ford, who only happens to be 13 years younger than Fraser, unconvincingly plays his adult son in one of the worst father-son depictions in movie history. After witnessing Harrison Ford’s similar onscreen relationship with Shia LaBeouf in INDIANA JONES AND THE CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF A CRYSTAL E.T., this must be the year for depicting estranged father-son relations in adventure movies. Fraser looks and acts too young to be the father of a grown child.

Ford’s character comes off as an ass and his romantic relationship with Isabella Leong doesn’t work. Leong is attractive to be sure but looks like just another insubstantial actress like Huang Shengyi or Cecilia Cheung. Hong Kong has a lot of pretty faces but few actors – you know – who can act. Anthony Wong is one of those actors but his talents are completely wasted in another example of throwaway casting, much like Simon Yam in the equally atrocious TOMB RAIDER. I guess I should be impressed that a Hollywood movie can even manage to get a Chinese actor to play a Chinese role.

The real problem, apart from a rudimentary script is Cohen, a filmmaker whose inability to direct people rivals George Lucas. Too bad his action is just as bad. Some of the scenes have salvageable material, thus showing some talent was involved behind the scenes. After all, the film does have veterans like Vic Armstrong (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3), Mike Lambert (THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM, Mark Southworth (TROY), and Jet Li’s Hong Kong team all contributing to the action. Cohen has the tools to make great action, even if it is devoid of meaning or purpose. He fails miserably though with bad camera angles, incomprehensible hyper-editing, too much unnecessary CGI and wirework, and rollercoaster pacing that never knows when to let the audience catch up to what’s going on and appreciate it. This is action filmmaking for inattentive children.

The fights between Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh and Jet Li and Brendan Fraser are disasters. When the camera, which is consistently too close let’s us see it, some of the moves are actually good. Half the time, actors are either blocking the view of a fighter’s move or have been pushed off screen. The best shots we get are from stills posted online. Good luck trying to make anything out on screen. The abuse of short-take editing is beyond comprehension and I wonder how much Lambert and Southworth had to do with this. At least in their BOURNE films where I still felt it was excessive, the Jabberwocky cam as I like to call it, at least fit the realistic tone. It’s meant to be a way to put the audience into the perspective of people thrust into a situation that threatens to overwhelm their senses. That’s what the action scenes in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN were all about. This approach has no place in a lightweight adventure movie where the heroes are rescued by CGI yetis that look like they stepped right out of a Pixar movie.

Yetis?! What the hell were the screenwriters smoking when they thought that one up? I literally dropped by jaw when they showed up. I understand this is a fantasy movie that puts fun ahead of realism. We are talking about undead armies battling each other. It was way too random though. It just reinforces the perception that the writers were stabbing at the dark and had little or no real control over their own story. The whole movie plays like this. One random thing happens after another and little effort is made to mask the fact that the audience is literally being taken for a ride. The problem is, the roller coaster keeps jumping tracks.

Another annoyance are the many digital action cliches such as a rain of arrows, thousands of neatly lined up soldiers and the dramatic overhead pull away to reveal digital creatures clashing. Are we supposed to be impressed by this? It’s like the MATRIX bullet-time effect or the explosive ring in space cliche that turned up everywhere after debuting in STAR TREK 6: THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. Once these things appear in a movie, expect to see them used over and over again by filmmakers with few ideas of their own.

Randy Edelman’s score is yet another reminder that soundtrack composition is practically dead as an art form today. He runs through every clichéd modern adventure riff known to man and gives nothing unique or memorable to the movie. Then again, the movie doesn’t deserve anything creative.

The only praiseworthy aspect of this production was Rob Cohen’s excellent production blog which I consider a model for how filmmakers should reach out to their fanbase.

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR is the epitome of soulless, artless and meritless genre drivel. As far as I am concerned the movie ended after Jet Li briefly fought fellow wushu action star Jacky Wu Jing, appearing in a cameo in the first ten minutes. If I seem a little angry it’s because once again Hollywood has dumped Jet Li into yet another bad movie that completely wastes his talents, much as WAR did. Rob Cohen deserves some kind of award for actually making Jet Li look bad. That isn’t easy to do folks. On top of that, he wastes Michelle Yeoh’s talents, wastes Anthony Wong’s talents and lets far less talented actors bumble around in a movie that better damn well put the lid on the coffin of this rotting franchise. This garbage is how Hollywood blows $150 million. That’s staggering when you consider that Jet Li’s best movies in Hong Kong were made for a fraction of that amount. At $40 million, THE WARLORDS is Li’s most expensive Asian film to date and that was largely a result of his salary which was almost half of the budget. And Tony Jaa is having a stress-related breakdown for mismanaging $8 million for ONG BAK 2 which so far is shaping up to be an excellent martial arts movie. There is no justice in this world, only creatively challenged morons holding all the money.

REVIEW: Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, The (2008), 6.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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  • JB

    Mark, this is one of the funniest reviews you’ve ever written. I think I laughed out loud at least 10 times. I’m not sure whether or not I should thank you for confirming my fears about this film. I would rather have been mistaken about thinking this movie was going to be horrible. Poor Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh and Anthony Wong. And all the other guys too. (sigh)

  • http://www.bottle-imp.com/ Daniel

    I couldn’t agree more. I just got back from seeing this not twenty minutes ago, and I was appalled at how terrible it was. I think you hit on all the major problems sufficiently, so I won’t beat it into the ground, but seriously… what a stinker of a movie.

  • Carbon

    I followed the Tomato link over to this review, and I nearly peed myself laughing so hard.
    I think I would rather pay you the price for the movie rental (no way I’d touch this in cinemas!) because I can’t believe how funny this review was.

    I think I’m going to rent it, just so I can sympathize with those poor actors. And I need a good laugh at how wretched a movie can be.

    Thanks a bunch! :D

  • http://asianimpact.ulmb.com Albert Valentin

    I can see why Jet decided to take 2008 off after making this movie. Maybe he felt the same way he felt after making War.

  • Mediaguy

    Thankfully I’ll be seeing it tonight for FREE. However, I find it funny that the movie is sooooo horrible yet the banner ads still bombard the index page of this website.

    I’m sure I’ll agree (to a point) with the flaming review. Sometimes I like mindless drivel but never to a point of feeling pandered to or insulted. I’ll see how I feel after watching it tonight.

  • tempo

    yeh.. it was a shit film.. it must have been difficult for rob to come up with the crazy ideas to screw up dead mummy.

  • http://http://www.intermissionatwork.com Joe

    Hey, doesn’t seem like this movie was that good. I work in a theatre, and it really wasn’t that busy. I did notice that a lot of asians came out for it, but it seemed like that was really it for that one.

  • Mediaguy

    Ok. I watched it tonight and firmly believe the scathing review for this type of movie was not warranted. You know what you are going to get from the franchise and this movie was, I thought, on par with the others. It was campy, no doubt.

    Most people in the audience I watched the movie with were quite amused. Perhaps, I’m less jaded since I just finished watching the Mummy Returns and Scorpion King on blu-ray before seeing this one. The Mummy Returns set the stage for over-the-top. Dragon Emperor was not great but certainly not horrible. Perhaps because I watched it for free helped me personally feel better about the movie.

    The fight scenes were okay but too short. They were not nearly as “close-up” as Mark alluded and seemed to fit in well within recent Hollywood or over-produced Asian fare.

    One thing I agree with is the terrible screen chemistry between Frasier and Bello. Frankly she sucked. And either Frasier needed to look older or have a younger actor play the part of the son. That dynamic was paper thick.

    Overall, the film was okay. Entertainment Weekly gave it a ‘C’ and I agree.

  • Oba Okpara

    Mediaguy is a plant.

    This is kungfucinema.com

    A place where kungfucinema fans frequent.
    A place where these fans have seen PTU and The Tai Chi Master.

    We don’t want Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, Anthony Wong and Wu Jing to be wasted.

    “fit in well with recent hollywood fare”.

    No respect for other cultures.

  • http://www.kogmedia.com media nerd

    Sounds like Tomb of the Dragon Emperor met everyone’s expectations… generally Brendan Frasier tries too hard to act, so you can tell he’s acting

  • paul cookie

    dude… the review was a bit harsh….Do not forget that they’re tring to revamp a great idea ( the mummy ) but give it new life via the dragon emporor …..so…was it the next acadamy award winner ..no…but didi it breathe new life into an old but loved franchise ….YES IT DID….Give them a chance and lets see what they have next !!