A plot by the reigning emperor to take over a Shaolin temple and steal their prized Golden Sutra leads four monks to undertake a dangerous journey to Tibet. The monks must defeat a Shaolin traitor and his shadowy minions who lurk around every corner in order to escape.
An early ’80′s title like Ninja vs. Shaolin Guards conjures up images of epic battles between Shaolin monks and mysterious ninja assassins who lurk in shadows, at least in my mind. In this regard, I was disappointed with the film as the ninja hardly factor into this story at all. The film does exhibit some epic qualities in the outdoor settings on and around the Great Wall of China and with the story of a quest, which seems to be inspired by mainland Chinese productions, but ultimately fizzles.
The emperor, Yuen Chi Kei sends one of his chief officials, a sniveling hunchback to take a Golden Sutra from the abbot of a Shaolin monastery. The abbot refuses and puts up an formidable defense until Hung Ching, one of his own priests turns traitor and stabs the poor old man in the back while he gets a distracting eyeful from a female who bares her tattooed breasts! Four loyal monks rush to his aid and the abbot commands them to take the Sutra to Tibet where it will be safe from the emperor’s grasp. They enlist the aid of a young girl who knows the way. As they travel across the countryside, the band of heroes are hounded and waylaid by all sorts of enemies from a bow-wielding hunter to their very own brothers from the monastery who have been duped into believing that the four monks killed the abbot and stole the sutra. Of course, Hung Ching is the real killer and his thirst for power pushes him to hunt down the monks with the help of his secret band of ninja.
The film begins by getting the viewer acquainted with the four monks, led by Alexander Lo. Lo has a passing resemblance to Bruce Lee and his physique, which is on full display is just as impressive. I cannot say the same for his martial arts this time around, although this may have more to do with Robert Tai’s middling choreography. There is a fair amount of mostly forced humor with the fourth brother constantly dreaming of women and play-fighting with his brothers. While these types of films often walk a fine line between comedy and drama, this one mixes the two quite awkwardly. After leaving the monastery, Fourth Brother goes to enlist the aid of his uncle and hit on his cousin, but arrives with his brothers to find her father killed. A bizarre fight ensues when it turns out that most of the corpses around the house are actually the killers. This sort of of unrealistic ambush happens several more times when the group is later attacked by “corpses” who literally explode from their coffins or when a fighter busts out of a frumpy-looking snowman!?
While the idea of a band of monks racing to escape the clutches of a Shaolin traitor and his crew of killers is a mildly refreshing idea in this genre, the filmmakers waste the premise on a lot of nonsense, blatant errors, and painfully senseless fighting technique. When a single opponent with a bow starts firing arrows at you and your two companions from 10 feet away, charge him! Don’t just stand there, you nobs! These guys deserved to be shot. And when they mention that Tibet is just over the next mountain shortly before they partake of the final battle on the Great Wall, I had to laugh since they would still have a very long way to go southwest of their position.
By the end, I was reminded of what film I was watching when a mob of ninjas finally popped out of the ground to attack what was left of our heroes. Their throwing stars and combustible colored smoke proved just as ineffective as their skills. The lead villain’s only remaining trick was to allow himself to be folded back with his head between his feet, thus ending his career as the new abbot and his life. Ninja vs. Shaolin Guards – it’s none too exciting, but might inspire you to improve your flexibility so that you don’t end up like Hung!
by Mark PollardRelated Topics:
Genre: Kung Fu
