Image surviving a car wreck, only to discover that everyone around you is talking gibberish. That’s the impression I got after watching ABBOT WHITE, a disastrous pileup of supernatural mayhem, a perplexing narrative, and English dubbing so bad you’ll be turning the sound off just to make up your own dialogue.

Its SHAOLIN TEMPLE meets OMEN when a boy in the temple’s tower tampers with a knife jabbed into a box, which for no good reason unleashes the evil spirit of a long dead murderer named Demon Claw. This demon immediately possesses the body of the boy, promptly pushes another boy off the tower, and leaves muttering about killing the temple monks.

Years later, the demon boy returns to kill the abbot and continue his bloody rampage in town until he happens across a woman with a jade talisman around her neck. The ward temporarily drives Demon Claw out of the confused man and he befriends her.

Meanwhile, there is a poorly integrated subplot about a noble swordsman who falls in love with the daughter of Demon Claw’s brother. The brother wants the swordsman dead and he has troubles with other fighters throwing accusations at him since he’s related to Demon Claw.

It doesn’t really matter since Demon Claw’s evil kung fu skills wipe out the whole lot. The girl with the talisman catches up with Demon Claw and drives the spirit out again. This time, the pair finally realizes what’s what. With the talisman in the monk’s hands, the pair returns to Shaolin. The monk persuades the new abbot to let him return to the tower where he does battle with the demon. The monk thrashes about until he stabs himself with a knife, leaps off the tower and explodes in a great ball of fire.

The end.

Although it deserves credit for trying to break out of the mold, ABBOT WHITE is not a good film by any measure. The story and direction are inferior while an attempt at creating a serious horror/kung fu hybrid falls flat under the weight of lame special effects and a downright awful climax.

The lead actually does a fair job of portraying a possessed man, complete with steely eyes, powdered face, and painted eyebrows and his kung fu isn’t bad. But sloppy camerawork negates any decent martial arts choreography. This film is notable for having possibly the only example of a fighter’s ability to detach his arm, send it flying through the air to impale his victim, and reattach it in mere seconds.

The most intolerable expect of ABBOT WHITE is the available English dubbing. In a twist on the usual formula, all of the speakers are clearly Chinese and speak English about as good as Jackie Chan did when he received his Lifetime Achievement award from MTV back in 1995.

Add to that the worst job of sound editing since Tai Seng’s release of THE SHAOLIN BROTHERS (1984). The monotone dubbers just laid their voices over the existing track whenever any character spoke and they are almost always off by a second or two so you clearly hear Cantonese bleeding into broken English. It’s a disgrace, even for a low budget effort like this.

Should you bother with this film at all? The obvious answer is no. Yet, underneath the glaring audio glitches is a mildly amusing B-movie dying to possess you. Watch it if you dare.

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