Jackie Chan is a young man betrayed by his closest friend when his parents are killed and his bride-to-be is driven away. He finds help from an unlikely ally whose love for him drives her to extremes in order to keep Jackie away from his true love.

Jackie Chan stars in one of his least favorite films from his least favorite director, Lo Wei. In other words, it’s not a Jackie Chan film by definition and suffers horribly for it, but wait – there’s more!

Jackie is Sau Lai, a young man who for unknown reasons, tells his pregnant fiancée to get lost and breaks up his father’s joyous party. His fiancée’s name happens to be Chin Chin, which according to Jackie himself had to be changed for the original international release, because it’s Japanese slang for “penis.” (This adds new meaning to the quote at the bottom of the page!) We soon find out that he’s not really such a bad guy, its just that he happens to know that an attack is coming and he doesn’t want innocent people getting hurt. The attackers turn out to be the Killer Bees, no relation to the Killer Bees of Saturday Night fame, led by John Belushi… but I digress. As Ting Chan Yen, steely-eyed Hsu Feng leads the pack in wiping our Jackie’s family but spares his life in order that he might suffer as she has suffered, or some such nonsense. After vowing to continually harass him, she runs off, leaving Jackie to wander over to his friend’s house in search of Chin Chin.

Poor old Jackie continues to experience bad luck after The Three Amigos, ahem… I mean three members of the Bloody Rain Gang (I’m not making this stuff up) give him a rude awakening, thinking he’s Chen Chun (there’s a plot hole the size of an elephant, but I’ll get back to that later), a friend of Jackie. He’s saved by the leader of the Dragon Escort Company who realizes that the Bloody Rain goons aren’t attacking the man he hired them to. Not only do they demand payment despite their mistake, but they also want to kill Jackie for nailing one of their brothers against a tree with a spear. The actual scene is so ridiculously over-the-top, it would have easily fit right in Chang Cheh’s Five Element Ninjas.

Jackie eventually joins the Dragon Escorts. The Bloody Rain dopes show up again with some truly odd weapons and even odder looking grunts, but get wiped out by Hsu Feng who literally flies in to save Jackie who has managed to get himself beat up and stabbed by a sword. Hsu talks the Escorts into releasing him into her care and she turns him into a virtual prisoner, not allowing him to leave until he can beat her. Yes, that’s right! Jackie Chan gets whipped by a woman. While most of his later leading ladies were usually present for their looks or comedic abilities, Hsu Feng convincingly dishes out the old smack down. To get him to train, Hsu tells Jackie all about the fact that Chin Chin is set to marry Chen Chun who was the one who ordered Jackie’s parents to be killed and he also turns out to be the secret head of the Bloody Rain Gang. Whah? Why would the Three Caballeros… I mean three Bloody Rain men allow themselves to be hired to kill their own master? For that matter, why would the noble Escorts hire them if they’re so evil? These are answers Lo Wei may be taking to his grave.

Each time Jackie loses to Hsu, he endures a vicious punishment such as swallowing a heated rock or having his face severally burned. Either she runs out of torture ideas or finally realizes that he’s bound and determined to win back Chin Chin so she lets him go fight Chen and get Chin Chin even though he hasn’t really beaten her.

Jackie stated in his autobiography that he and the rest of the cast didn’t enjoy making this film which was shot in South Korea’s cold climate. You can see their breath in the air as they prance around shirtless and its little wonder he was so uncomfortable. Some of the scenery is picturesque but who cares when the film itself is so bad. There are very few traces of the type of action Jackie has made famous. The camera work is fine but Wei uses lots of wires and sped up cameras to ill effect. Add this to Jackie’s humorless performance and the addition of horrible elements such as the Killer Bees’ bee-shaped knives and some gibberish about Jackie learning Hsu’s kung fu by drinking her blood and you have some idea of just how bad the film really is.

The whole story keeps stumbling into childishly written melodrama and while Jackie is definitely out of place, I feel even more shame for Hsu Feng and her awful role. She does ok on the action scenes, which suit her “soft” style more than Jackie but when her character breaks down into a fit of wailing self pity as Jackie goes looking for Chin Chin, I literally cringed. It’s comparable to watching a figure skating competition and seeing the favored contender kiss the ice. It’s a sad affair.

Now, after that rant I still can’t recommend you skip To Kill with Intrigue. Why? Simply because its so fascinating to see Jackie in the kind of role that could have ruined his career if he hadn’t broken Lo Wei’s contract. It’s like watching two cars collide. The result is a pitiful mass of deadly carnage, but you can’t help but look at it.

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