Shaolin Invincibles (1979)

Two sisters are trained at Shaolin to avenge the death of their father by assassinating the cruel king, but a slew of oddball henchmen including two man-gorillas and their long-tongued handlers stand in the way.

By far one of the oddest kung fu films in Hong Kong history is Shaolin Invincibles. That statement could easily be followed by praise for its creativity, but this lower than low budget schlock fest gets no points for having two extras running around in gorilla suits while their handlers wag tongues that hang two or four feet out of their mouths, depending on the scene.

Chia Ling and Doris Lung star as two sisters whose family has been killed by the king while they were children. A Shaolin monk snatches them away to the safety of Shaolin Temple. Interestingly, a narrator bothers to explain beforehand how the king’s killing rampage began when one of his officials made an unsavory remark about him. Furious, the king kills the official, his family, his friends, his friend’s family, acquaintances of his friends, their pets, farm animals, etc… Although the king’s officers clearly see the monk taking the girls away, they never bother to check the Temple. Oops!

Years later, the two girls are now kung fu fighting women with a mission to kill the king. Sadly, neither of these attractive actresses have either a strong presence or martial arts ability. But you won’t notice once you see how poorly executed the rest of the film is. Carter Wong gives one of his weaker performances as a Shaolin student who is sent to help the women. He had already hit his high mark on his long running collaboration with director Joseph Kuo with films like Blazing Temple (1976). Bootmaster Dorian Tan was also seeing his career begin to falter and this film is a great example. His role as Carter Wong’s chum is small and his skills are seen only briefly, although he performs well. This film also includes a notable appearance by mega veteran Blacky Ko. He plays a misshapen old man with one bulging eye who is thrown into a dungeon by the king and aids Chia Ling. The king, played by Chen Hung Lieh ends up dressing as the old man to dupe all of the heroes. I still think Blacky, who was an agile and acrobatic kung fu performer played this role basically until the king removes the mask. Lastly, but certainly not least is the appearance of Jack Lung, who has an entertaining and bloody fight with the gals using an iron fan. Also that same year, Tan, Ko, and Lung came together for a measurably more enjoyable film entitled Boxer’s Adventure.

Getting back to the story, Ling and Lung manage to get hired as servants in the service of the king to get closer to him. Chen takes a liking to Ling which ends up in a failed assassination attempt on her part. She’s thrown into a dungeon while Lung escapes with Wong and Tan. Despite talk of the many traps within this dungeon (which comprises of a single hallway), Ling basically walks out unhindered and rejoins her co-conspirators in planning a final assault on the king. The set designer must have spent a lot of time on this dungeon, because everyone has to go through it to get basically anywhere, including to the king’s throne which is out in the middle of forest. While his kung fu skills are potent, its his two gorillas that really know how to kick butt. Ok, in reality they look like a pair bungling idiots in cheap gorilla costumes who make weak attempts at appearing animalistic and even weaker attempts at performing kung fu. They prove to be unstoppable until their weak point, which is their heads is revealed. Their handlers are two bizarre men dressed, one in black and one in white. But for some reason they have these enormously long tongues that hang out of their mouths. Carter Wong ends up tying them together and ripping them out which immediately kills the two men. Remember that the next time you’re assaulted by men wielding arm-length tongues!

What the filmmakers were trying to accomplish with Shaolin Invincibles is a mystery. Considering the wealth of talent involved in such a hideous effort, it’s likely a few favors were cashed in. This is an uneven, poorly crafted film with lame ideas and a cheap budget. It’s a clear example of why general audiences dismiss this genre and I don’t blame them. Do yourself a favor and disregard this tripe unless the concept of kung fu fighting gorilla men inspires you.